I have been married to my better half for six many years and I believed we had both an excellent relationship and a great sexual life. However, not long ago i unearthed that when he goes away on company excursions, he requires women’s clothing and clothes up as he’s on his own. Once I initially noticed female underwear in the briefcase I thought he had been having an affair, but this looks a whole lot worse. We confronted him about this but he shrugs it well as «my small hobby». I’m shocked and betrayed. Is actually he gay?
Your spouse just isn’t homosexual, unmanly or «ill» – and then he doesn’t wanna change completely into a lady. He or she is one of the numerous heterosexual males with an erotic curiosity about senior cross dressing. Since the guy kept this away from you, he seems ashamed and troubled that you may perhaps not take this part of him.
I am aware how you feel of betrayal and you want to work these aside with him, preferably in therapy. But their fetish is basically safe and inside the regular selection of individual intimate interest. Truly unlikely which he could give it up, so insist upon the full discussion so they can assist you to appreciate this aspect of his sex and also to allay your own anxieties regarding what it could imply to you personally as a couple of.
Don’t generate him feel he’s got to cover up such a thing away from you, and ask for what you will need from him today, whether that requires even more openness or a consignment to reconstruct depend on between you. Then you might decide to disregard his fetish or even to accept it, should you feel comfortable performing this!
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Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a medical psychologist and psychotherapist who specialises for sexual disorders.